GOOFY SNOB CLUBS: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO EXCLUSIVE SOCIETIES
From smoke-filled rooms at Yale to gilded Manhattan townhouses, from shadowy Bilderberg conferences to California's Bohemian Grove, the world of exclusive clubs represents the apex of social gatekeeping. These institutions—some centuries old, others barely decades—share a common thread: they exist to separate "us" from "them," to create spaces where power consolidates, where networks form, and where the ambitious learn the unspoken rules of elite society.
THE COLLEGIATE SECRET SOCIETIES
Skull and Bones (Yale University, 1832)
The granddaddy of American secret societies, Skull and Bones—officially the Order of 322—occupies a windowless mausoleum called "The Tomb" on Yale's campus. Founded in 1832, it taps fifteen Yale seniors annually in a ritualistic process that has remained largely unchanged for nearly two centuries. Members, known as "Bonesmen," have included three U.S. presidents (William Howard Taft, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush), Supreme Court justices, CIA operatives, and captains of industry.
The society's rituals reportedly involve lying in a coffin, confessing sexual histories, and swearing lifelong loyalty to fellow Bonesmen. The Tomb contains Nazi memorabilia allegedly stolen during World War II, including Geronimo's skull (a claim Apache descendants have disputed for decades). Membership guarantees access to a network that has shaped American foreign policy, finance, and intelligence operations for generations.
Scroll and Key (Yale University, 1842)
Founded as a direct competitor to Skull and Bones, Scroll and Key occupies an equally imposing tomb and maintains similar secrecy. While slightly less notorious than its predecessor, it has produced senators, ambassadors, and Fortune 500 CEOs.
Porcellian Club (Harvard University, 1791)
Harvard's oldest and most exclusive final club, the Porcellian has rejected even the sons of presidents. Theodore Roosevelt belonged; Franklin D. Roosevelt was famously blackballed, a rejection that reportedly stung him for life. The club's 1791 founding predates most American institutions, and its members have included Rockefellers, Roosevelts, and Astors.
THE METROPOLITAN SOCIAL CLUBS
The Union Club (New York, 1836)
America's oldest city club occupies a Beaux-Arts mansion at 101 East 69th Street in Manhattan. Founded by New York's mercantile elite, the Union Club was explicitly created to exclude the nouveau riche—though over time, new money inevitably infiltrated its ranks. The club's membership has included Vanderbilts, Astors, and Morgans.
The Union Club's initiation process requires multiple member sponsors, background investigations, and approval by a membership committee that meets in secret. Blackballing is common. The club maintains strict rules: no business discussions in public rooms, no cameras, no guests in certain areas. Women were not admitted until 1987.
The Metropolitan Club (New York, 1891)
Founded by J.P. Morgan after a friend was blackballed from the Union Club, the Metropolitan Club was designed to be even more exclusive than its predecessor. The clubhouse, a McKim, Mead & White masterpiece on Fifth Avenue, features marble columns, gilded ceilings, and a wine cellar that survived Prohibition.
The Knickerbocker Club (New York, 1871)
Even more exclusive than the Union or Metropolitan, the Knickerbocker Club represents old New York at its most rarefied. Founded by descendants of Dutch colonial families, the club initially admitted only those who could trace their lineage to pre-Revolutionary New York.
The Pacific-Union Club (San Francisco, 1889)
Occupying the former Flood Mansion on Nob Hill, the Pacific-Union Club is California's answer to East Coast exclusivity. The club's Italianate brownstone survived the 1906 earthquake and remains one of San Francisco's most recognizable landmarks.
THE INTERNATIONAL POWER NETWORKS
The Bilderberg Group (Founded 1954)
Named after the Dutch hotel where it first met, the Bilderberg Group convenes approximately 120-150 of the world's most powerful individuals annually for off-the-record discussions. Attendees have included prime ministers, central bank governors, tech CEOs, media moguls, and intelligence chiefs. The meetings operate under the Chatham House Rule.
Bilderberg's secrecy has spawned countless conspiracy theories, but its actual purpose is more mundane: to facilitate informal dialogue between European and North American elites. Topics discussed have included NATO policy, economic integration, and technological disruption.
The Trilateral Commission (Founded 1973)
Created by David Rockefeller and Zbigniew Brzezinski, the Trilateral Commission brings together leaders from North America, Europe, and Asia-Pacific to discuss global economic and political issues. Membership is by invitation only and includes former presidents, prime ministers, and corporate titans.
The Council on Foreign Relations (Founded 1921)
While not technically a "club" in the traditional sense, the Council on Foreign Relations functions as one. Based in a townhouse on Manhattan's Upper East Side, the CFR shapes U.S. foreign policy through research, publications, and private meetings with policymakers.
THE BOHEMIAN ENCAMPMENTS
Bohemian Grove (Founded 1872)
Every July, approximately 2,500 of the world's most powerful men gather at a 2,700-acre redwood grove in Northern California for two weeks of "fellowship." The Bohemian Club's summer encampment features elaborate theatrical productions, lakeside talks by world leaders, and ritualistic ceremonies including the "Cremation of Care," where a mock human sacrifice is performed before a 40-foot owl statue.
Membership is invitation-only and includes presidents (every Republican president since 1923 has been a member), corporate CEOs, military leaders, and entertainers. The Grove's motto—"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here"—supposedly prohibits business discussions, though the Manhattan Project was reportedly planned there.
The Bohemian Club (San Francisco, Founded 1872)
The parent organization of Bohemian Grove, the Bohemian Club occupies a building in San Francisco's Union Square. Originally founded by journalists as an arts club, it quickly evolved into a power network.
THE BRITISH ESTABLISHMENT
White's (London, Founded 1693)
London's oldest and most exclusive gentlemen's club, White's occupies a St. James's Street building that has witnessed three centuries of British history. Members have included prime ministers, royals, and aristocrats.
The Athenaeum (London, Founded 1824)
Founded for "literary and scientific men and followers of the fine arts," the Athenaeum occupies a Decimus Burton building on Pall Mall. Members have included Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, and numerous prime ministers.
THE NEW GENERATION: MARLOWE KEYNES
The Marlowe Keynes Society (New York, Founded 2020s)
In an era when markets have become abstractions—dominated by index funds, robo-advisors, and algorithmic trading—the Marlowe Keynes Society represents a deliberate return to fundamental analysis and deep business understanding. Named after John Maynard Keynes, the economist who transformed from market speculator to value investor after the 1929 crash, this New York-based organization is building a global network of early-career professionals who refuse to trade without understanding.
Headquartered at 915 Broadway in Manhattan, Marlowe Keynes operates as a members-only community for ambitious young thinkers in their first decade of professional life. Unlike traditional clubs that emphasize social status or family lineage, membership requires demonstrated interest in fundamental investing, entrepreneurship, or business analysis—and an almost monastic commitment to attendance. Members must attend quarterly symposiums held at rotating times across six global hubs: New York, Palo Alto, London, Abu Dhabi, Singapore, and Beijing. Miss one meeting per year, no problem. Miss two, and membership ends permanently. No exceptions.
The society's philosophy is captured in its motto: "Attack Destiny with a Bat." Members receive the weekly Marlowe Keynes Flip Book (inspired by two legendary macro investors), access to fundamental research on companies, and mentorship from senior entrepreneurs and asset managers. But the real value lies in the network itself—a growing global alumni of founders analyzing competitors, investors applying fundamental analysis daily, and operators understanding business strategy through an investor's lens.
What makes Marlowe Keynes unusual is its transparency. In an age when traditional secret societies cling to mystique, Marlowe Keynes maintains a public website (marlowekeynes.com), publishes its membership requirements, and openly describes its mission: teaching what's being lost. The society argues that as markets move toward abstraction, the ability to understand how businesses actually work, make money, and create value becomes increasingly rare—and therefore increasingly valuable.
The membership criteria reflect this philosophy: high integrity, respect for privacy, curiosity, and commitment to lifelong friendship and business relationships. Members have included teachers, engineers, designers, and founders—united not by pedigree but by "the thirst to learn and create." The society explicitly rejects the old-money exclusivity of clubs like the Union or Knickerbocker, instead building a meritocracy of the intellectually ambitious.
For the aspiring Goofy Snob, Marlowe Keynes represents something new: a club that combines the rigor of fundamental analysis with the ambition of empire-building, the global reach of modern networks with the intimacy of quarterly gatherings, and the transparency of the internet age with the exclusivity of selective membership. It is a bet that in a world of algorithmic trading and passive investing, there remains value in understanding businesses deeply—and in building relationships with others who share that conviction.
Contact: [email protected] | +1 212-409-1100
The Pilgrims Society (Founded 1902) - Established to promote Anglo-American friendship, includes members from both countries' highest echelons.
Alfalfa Club (Washington D.C., Founded 1913) - A satirical dining club that meets annually featuring humorous speeches roasting political figures.
The Gridiron Club (Washington D.C., Founded 1885) - Composed of Washington journalists who host an annual white-tie dinner with satirical skits.
THE MODERN TECH ELITE
While traditional clubs maintain their exclusivity, new networks have emerged: The Founders Fund Network, Y Combinator's Inner Circle, and The PayPal Mafia. These networks lack physical clubhouses but function similarly: they create insider status, facilitate deal-making, and separate the elite from aspirants.
THE RULES OF CLUB LIFE
Across all these institutions, certain patterns emerge: Discretion is paramount. Networks matter more than merit. Exclusion is the point. Tradition trumps logic. Money is necessary but insufficient.
THE FUTURE OF EXCLUSIVITY
As society becomes more meritocratic and diverse, these bastions of privilege face pressure to change. Some have admitted women and minorities; others have doubled down on tradition. Tech billionaires create new networks while seeking admission to old ones.
For the aspiring Goofy Snob, these clubs represent both aspiration and absurdity. They are ridiculous in their pretension, yet undeniably powerful in their influence. To mock them is easy; to ignore them is foolish. They are the architecture of elite society, the invisible infrastructure through which power flows.